Story Of The Forgotten Imp

Welcome to the Forgotten Imp's unofficial Lincoln City web site. First let me point out that I have no connection with either Lincoln City FC nor Poacher The Imp. Although maybe Poacher is a very, very distant relative but as I told the Imp Support Agency he is no direct relation. I mean how can I, little under 5 inches tall have a relative who must be well over 6 foot?

Anyway another of him lets talk about my favourite subject: me.

As many people are aware the Lincoln Imp sits in Lincoln Cathedral looking down but what you don't know is that he had a brother. That brother is me and for all these years I have been too frightened to reveal myself in public in case the same fate befalls me. A legend has grown around my brother however as we entered the new Millennium I felt it was the time to tell my version of events thus allowing me, The Forgotten Imp - a petty criminal - to get paid for my story, though obviously it is in the public interest.

Back in the 14th Century Satan sent both my brother and I out to do his evil work, I suppose you could call us Satan's Little Helpers ! You must remember this is how we were brought up, we knew no different. First we went to Chesterfield's Crooked Spire, well it wasn't crooked until we went but that's another story !

After finishing that off, sorry I mean finishing there, we progressed on towards Lincoln Cathedral. Upon our arrival we did as Satan had instructed us, to cause as much mayhem as possible. Though I must say it was mainly my brother doing the damage and not me, honest Guv ! We, sorry, he began by tripping up the Bishop and then went on to smash all the tables and chairs. It was whilst we, there I go again, he was in the process of destroying the Angel Choir that an angel appeared and told us to stop at once or else. So brov said "or else what?", flying up to sit on a stone pillar to throw heavy objects at the her. It was then for some odd reason that she became really nasty and immediately turned him to stone leaving him sitting there forever. That was a shock, I can tell you, seeing that; I've been undergoing trauma counselling ever since.

I hid among the broken tables praying that she wouldn't see me and do the same thing to me, it was about now that at I started to swap sides from Satan. Somehow she didn't spot me though I really don't know how, from then on though I changed, repenting my evil ways and promising to be good forever, well almost. I still have the occasional mischievous moment.

One such moment was when I became friends with the composer Mozart, I was going to put some of his music on this web site but that nasty copyright word sprung up, a devilish word. Mozart was an odd bloke who used to ignore me at first until I told him one of his rivals was copying all his work, then he listened. Though I think talking to a 5 inch Imp got to him in the end as he went a bit la-la. Funnily enough the same thing happened to another friend of mine: Vincent Van Gogh.

More recently I had some fun in the 1946 FA Cup Final when I burst the ball twice, gave everyone a good laugh, except that player who was about to score. Oh and in 1998 when Di Canio pushed the referee; so now you know, the ref didn't dive, I helped him fall, sorry Mr. Allcock !

Anyway I promise to practice only good and endeavour to help Lincoln City as much as possible in their quest for future success so I hope you will help me in cheering the players on. Of course you'll have to pay to get inside Sincil Bank, see there are benefits of only being 2 inches tall and capable of flight.

One last thing some people have dared to say that us Imps are unlucky well that's just libellous and I can prove it. In 1928 the then Prince Of Wales, later King Edward VII was presented with a Lincoln Imp tie pin. The following year his gelding won The Grand National whilst his colt won The Epsom Derby, so there!

The Real Legend Of The Lincoln Imp